Parenting Blog - Earth Rangers

A little nudge out the front door

Earth Rangers — Tue, 28 Feb 2023 14:41:13 +0000

I was always amazed no one ever looked up. Every day, I’d climb my favourite tree in a wooded area beside a railroad track. This forest behind my grandparents’ house was my summer playground when I was kid, and oh did I love to climb trees. The higher the better! A towering oak gave me a perfect view of the commuters who departed from the train each afternoon. They would bustle along, hurrying to get home after a long day of work. I was well hidden behind the thick branches full of leaves but I hoped, that one day, someone would look up. I’d wave and congratulate them for catching me. Getting caught meant I’d have a new challenge. The hunt would begin to find another hiding spot in the sky, where once again, I’d find the prefect perch to conduct my daily scouting mission.

For me, playing outside didn’t take any planning or intention. Parenting experts are quick to point out that every generation has its own unique challenges. One issue for today’s kids is a dramatic drop in outdoor play. Thought leaders examining the reasons behind this societal change point to technology, structured activities like organized sports, and parental fears of letting their kids play outside.

The benefits of outdoor time and moving our bodies is well documented. If we’re lucky enough, our kids have access to green space and forests to connect with nature. But just being outside anywhere is said to have a variety of benefits. How much physical activity does a child need? It’s suggested kids from three to six should be active throughout the day. From age 6 to 17, they should be active at least 60 minutes a day. If this activity takes place outside, there is an increased benefit to a child’s overall wellbeing.

Technology is immersed in our culture. It’s become a fundamental part of our lives. It’s requiring us to be more intentional about how we spend our “off hours.” It’s the same for children. Many parents are starting to introduce mandatory outdoor time. One parenting blogger suggests getting outside should be considered a necessity for kids, like a meal or good night’s sleep.

We have loads of ideas here at Earth Rangers to help. One of our new Eco-Activities has me particularly excited. Sense Scouting is a wonderful way to help kids to connect with nature. All it requires is a notepad, pencil, and the power of observation. You and the kids can head to your favourite outdoor space and fire up the five senses. Focus on one or two to start. Once your senses start tingling, talk about what you see or smell, for example. The kids can write it down in a notebook or make a little sketch. Considering my love affair with trees, not surprisingly, I think the Find a Tree Game is a fantastic way to intentionally connect with nature. This fun game involves taking turns being blindfolded and guided towards a tree. Then you’re led away and spun around a few times to make it challenging before your blindfold is removed. The adventure begins by trying to find your tree! How about creating your own Outdoor Orchestra? This Eco-Activity requires loads of creativity and teamwork. Head to your favourite outside space and take some time to look around for instruments. Anything is fair game. A pinecone xylophone or two rocks as cymbals perhaps? Our Creative Corner feature in the app is constantly adding new and fresh ideas to keep kids busy outside. (and loads of crafts too)!

Parenting is never a one-size fits all approach. My eldest son was not big on outdoor adventures. He’d often say to me, “Mom, I know you love hiking, exploring, and climbing trees, but I’m more of an indoor kinda’ person.” Totally fair! I still mandated outdoor time, but if he wanted to take a pass on a traipse through the forest or yet another bike ride by the lake, I learned to honour his need for being outside in his own way. Connecting with nature may not be intuitive for everyone, but with a little intention and a gentle shift in family priorities, a whole new world of possibilities could open up for your child. Striking a balance between technology, structured activities, and fresh air is the ticket. Getting outside together is even better!

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One person, one action, three ideas

Earth Rangers — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 16:20:41 +0000

When you were a kid, did you ever wish you could just skip school, build a fort, and hang out with your friends? (or was that just me!?) I dreamt about waving a magic wand that allowed me to make all the decisions – not the grown-ups. With a flick of the wrist, I would be in charge, and you can bet it involved chocolate for breakfast. But alas, as a child, the magic, and indeed the control over my daily routine and food choices, rested firmly with grown-ups. With the issue of climate change dominating the headlines, it got me thinking about how today’s kids must feel like they want a magic wand too. Not just to add fun in their daily routine but for a sense of control about how the future looks for the planet. Our eco-anxiety research tells us, kids are concerned about climate change and need creative solutions for how they can help. As individuals, they are willing to chip in and support the animals they love.

At the United Nation’s COP27 climate summit in Egypt, there was renewed debate in the media about the impact an individual can have on our warming planet versus government policy makers and corporations. It’s been argued that it might be more effective to focus on certain high emission sectors than ask the public to reduce their individual carbon footprint. One national story asked the question, “Can one person’s actions help stop climate change?” You’re probably not surprised to hear our answer at Earth Rangers is a resounding YES! Inspiring kids to take eco-action is woven into everything we do. Kids who participate in Earth Rangers are significantly more optimistic about the future of the planet and confident in their ability to make a difference. This has never been more important, as we increasingly see the impacts of climate change in real time and the corresponding media coverage of our planet becomes more bleak. It’s not just kids who need support! That’s why we developed a comprehensive parent guide to help talk with your child about climate change.

There’s no doubt we face a daunting task and we want to be careful not to put pressure on kids by making them feel like they’re responsible for coming up with the solution. The answer lies in empowerment. We can all do something that collectively will make a difference. We have ideas to help: 1. Commit to an Earth Rangers Mission as a family. We have over 20 Missions that focus on a wide variety of eco-actions and activities to help protect animals and the planet. Certified Green, for example, empowers you and the kids to take a closer look at the products you buy. The Mission’s ecolabel guide helps you determine if your purchase is truly good for the environment. 2. Join our Project 2050 Climate Challenges. This is team work at its best. When kids join together by logging their climate-friendly habits in the app, they get a sense of what its like to collectively work towards a common goal. 3. Purchase a Wildlife Adoption Kit for the animal-lover in your life! The Earth Rangers Wildlife Adoptions program contributes to impactful initiatives that support conservation work on the ground across Canada.

As for the big players, the UN is calling on political leaders to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 45% by 2030 and reach net-zero by 2050. So far, virtually every country in the world has signed global agreements pledging to make their best efforts to stay below 1.6 Celsius of warming. We grown-ups know that is a daunting task and there is a ton of work to be done. Though a magic wand would be most helpful right about now, we simply have each other. When things feel overwhelming, it’s important to start small. One completed Earth Rangers Mission, a simple idea from a child for a neighbourhood litter clean-up, or a symbolic Wildlife Adoption may help for today. It could lead to even more eco-action tomorrow.

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Children and animals – it’s a thing!

Earth Rangers — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 15:24:25 +0000

So here’s a question for you – have you seen a frog lately? For some, it’s a regular occurrence, but for urban dwellers like me, it can be as rare as a shooting star! Even with all the time I spend in nature, I can count on one hand how many frog encounters I’ve had in the last decade. I can also tell you this, I remember exactly where and when I saw them. Seeing something that lives in the wild hop across your path is such a thrill. For me, seeing wildlife triggers an instant jolt of wonder.

There’s been a massive body of research conducted over the years that outlines the powerful connection between humans and animals. In 1984 biologist E.O. Wilson, introduced the idea of “biophilia”-the innate affinity we humans have for other living things. For children, it’s believed they’re born with an intrinsic sense that animals are important. There are enough videos on Tik Tok of adorable kids with their pets to convince even the most ardent skeptic that children LOVE animals! But when youngsters are exposed to wildlife, there’s an even greater potential for engagement.

Even if children spot common wild creatures like squirrels, rabbits or ducks, they get that these animals are FREE in nature. Kids comprehend that animals who live in the wild, have to find their own food, build their own habitats and endure all kinds of weather. More importantly, they witness these animals utilizing super powers like flying, digging, and climbing without any regard to an owner’s command. They can also disappear quickly, which, creates mysterious chance encounters. All of this contributes to a sense of awe and wonder.

There’s an excellent opportunity here for parents to tap into this heightened sense of engagement by nurturing a child’s curiosity. It can be as simple as asking a question like; “Why do you think those squirrels are chasing each other?” or “What do you think a rabbit eats in the winter?” Their answers are often loaded with evidence that kids love to THINK about animals – especially their superpowers! Earth Rangers Missions are another excellent way to tap into that passion. The Backyard Biologist Mission, for example, stokes a child’s curiosity by tapping into their observation skills. We encourage families to head to their local park, pond, garden or their backyard to look for plants and animals together. This is citizen science at its best! The Mission includes helpful prompts and a handy guide to help identify types of species. The Backyard Biologist Mission educates children in detail about biodiversity and it’s loaded with fun hands-on activities. There’s also another wonderful opportunity that presents itself when children explore their natural surroundings. Parents have the chance to nurture a sense of stewardship for the planet.

The Respect Animals While Recycling Mission (R.A.W.R) makes the connection between waste and wildlife by fostering a sense of responsibility for the things we throw away. Kids learn how rinsing containers, waste sorting, and composting help protect animal habitats by making recycling-material safe. If not properly maintained, our garbage can also become an enticing spot for animals to visit! R.A.W.R. reminds all of us that we should work towards a respectful distance between humans and wildlife.

Earth Rangers Missions, along with all of our programs, are about helping children feel a sense of empowerment. It’s rooted in everything we do. Our end goal is to encourage eco-action. It starts at the beginning with a child’s sense of curiosity and wonder. For us adults, it’s an encouraging reminder that the seeds have already been planted. This intrinsic connection to animals doesn’t need a lot of help. It’s like a fire that’s already been lit. We just need to feed the embers and coax it along. Asking questions, participating in Missions and taking time to observe our natural surroundings are great places to start. Sharing a sense of wonder helps too. Freaking out over a frog may not be everyone’s go-to, but my three kids get a kick out of seeing their mom get excited about a chance encounter in the natural world.

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When is my child ready to walk to school alone?

Karen Horsman — Wed, 02 Nov 2022 14:40:40 +0000

“You’re causing problems for me you know, Karen!” My neighbour laughed as she said this to me as we chatted on her driveway one day after work. There may have been a smile in her voice but I detected something else. She went on to explain that her nine-year-old daughter was asking to walk to school by herself just like my youngest child. Jenna was also nine at the time and had been walking on her own for a couple of months. My neighbour went on to say, “I just don’t think my daughter is ready and it adds a lot of pressure when other kids are allowed this kind of freedom. Besides, I’m nervous about it and I want her to be safe.” You couldn’t ask for a more honest perspective and I appreciated that she was vulnerable enough to share it with me. I explained the preparation we did beforehand which included practicing the route and running through a list of scenarios. For the first few weeks, I stood at the end of the driveway to watch Jenna until her figure disappeared. And little by little, I let go.

This isn’t just about independence. According to a recent CBC report, encouraging kids to walk to school is becoming part of the climate change discussion. Annual events like “Walktober” and International Walk to School Month encourage families to reduce their carbon footprint by leaving the car at home to walk or cycle to school. Brianna Salmon, the executive director of Green Communities Canada, told the CBC that since parents don’t seem to be transferring their knowledge from when they were kids about biking and walking, today’s children need more walking and cycling education. That’s where organized community events come in. They can inspire new habits and the momentum can grow from there. Walking to school isn’t a fit for every family. Not everyone lives within a reasonable distance and some routes may involve crossing busy streets. Tight work schedules can also interfere with timing and the list goes on. There are also two separate stories here. The one that involves a parent walking with their child to school and allowing them to walk alone.

My neighbour had an issue with the second. During our conversation, we spoke about the “legal” age to grant your child this kind of independence. According to several experts including Parachute, a charity focused on injury prevention, it’s believed that children around the age of nine are less impulsive, more attentive, and have the cognitive ability needed to cross the street safely. Equipping your child with the tools is a key step. Not only did my daughter and I practice and role play, we took baby steps by walking the route half way together for a few days. I also believe that you know your child. I’ve often heard it said by parents who have more than one child, “Oh, my youngest daughter would be ready for that but not my oldest.” Maturity and a willingness to stick to the rules is a key part of the decision.

At the root of this issue is fear. Every parent wants to protect their child from harm. It’s figuring out a balance between innate parental worry and the need to nurture confidence. To this day, my two youngest children have fierce independent streaks! As they grew, they were always looking for ways to do things on their own. I had to learn to breathe and trust that they could tackle these new challenges. I needed to fight the urge to hold on tight. I struggled with when to say no and when to let go. More often than not, I leaned into letting them try. What helped me in the tough times? I would remember how much independence I had when I was a child. As I grew into a young adult, at times, I was scared to try new things, but I was confident I could handle the outcome. I would inevitably jump right in, nerves and all! Big and little tastes of freedom can do that for a child. We just have to learn to trust and let go.

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Take a deep-dive into Fangorn Forest and feel the eco-magic

Karen Horsman — Mon, 26 Sep 2022 15:58:32 +0000

When you live in a house full of J.R.R. Tolkien fans, it wasn’t unusual to hear one of the kids scream from the basement “Don’t touch my precious!” It was confirmation that my three children were playing yet another Lord of the Rings role-playing game and the battle for Middle-earth was underway. With the debut of the epic series The Rings of Power, I found myself standing around the coffee station talking to a group of workmates about our connection to Tolkien’s magical storytelling. We all had our own unique perspective on what makes his writing special, but we agreed he is among the best when it comes to world-building. In fact, Tolkien is credited with helping to create the fantasy genre as we know it. For some working in the field of conservation and environmental education, Tolkien is more than just the author of one of the most read fictional series of all time. It’s his emphasis on nature and respect for the planet that resonates with many of us.

The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, like many epic narratives, features a strong sense of good and evil. Saruman, who cuts down trees and rips open the earth to build his army for world domination, is one of the story’s main antagonists. As for Mordor, it’s a wasteland of decay and destruction. The power and hope to mitigate this darkness was found in the Elves, the Ents and, of course, the Hobbits. Academics argue these characters represent Tolkien’s deeply held belief that we should honour our connection to the planet. The Elves were stewards of the forest. The Hobbits burrowed into the earth to build their homes and were fiercely protective of their beloved Shire. It’s widely reported Tolkien abhorred England’s industrial growth in the early 19-hundreds. He was quoted as saying; “The tragedy and despair of all machinery laid bare is the modern attempt to enhance our control over the world around us, regardless of the consequences.” Saruman is described by the author as a wizard with a mind for metal and wheels who doesn’t care for growing things, except as they served him in the moment. Mordor is well-known for representing what Tolkien viewed as the black engines of machinery and factories.

It would be easy to talk about these themes with young readers. I wish I made the point of connecting the dots for my kids about Tolkien’s powerful environmental message. I had an invested audience! They already loved the story so there was an opportunity to simply point out a few examples of Tolkien’s worldview. While hiking in my local forest, when the light breaks through the canopy in a certain way, it can remind me of Fangorn Forest. Or at least how I picture this magical place where the Ents live. This would be another great opportunity to share observations out loud with the kids. Making real world connections with a favourite book can be incredibly meaningful when parents share their love of a story with something in their surroundings.

As for Tolkien’s enduring environmental message; with his recent surge in popularity, there’s a chance a whole new generation will connect with his vision and remind us all that “the precious” can be planet Earth.

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Podcasts with a seal of approval

Karen Horsman — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 01:24:00 +0000

If you’ve been wondering about any Sasquatch sightings lately, there’s a podcast for that. How about getting the most out of your BBQ smoker or a beginner’s guide to bathroom renovations? There’s a show for that too. There’s just an endless amount of podcasts waiting for someone to drop by and have a listen. Podcasts have been growing in popularity for more than a decade but thanks to a massive shift in the landscape, content has exploded. The pandemic certainly played a role in the amount of choice now available but industry observers point to another reason. Last year, Amazon joined Google in the Canadian podcast arena. A flood of new shows hit the airwaves including a ton of content for children. When it comes to kids and podcasts, new research by Media in Canada tells an interesting story. The podcast audience for young listeners has remained steady over the last four years but the children who do engage with shows, listen a lot! With so many podcasts to sort through, where’s a good place to start? Just like when a new show debuts on a streaming service, it’s helpful to get the lowdown. The usual approach is to see if there’s any buzz surrounding the content and ask around for any feedback. Think Netflix recommendations by your work colleagues before a meeting starts. If the podcast is for your child, it’s important to investigate if the subject matter is age appropriate and worthwhile.

Enter Sound Carrot. Tristan Welch and his 10-year-old daughter Maya, are podcast enthusiasts. Picture a typical busy home with podcasts playing in the background – almost like a family soundtrack. Maya is a science lover and avid reader with an insatiable curiosity. When it comes to podcasts, she can’t get enough of them. Tristan soon realized the massive amount of choice wasn’t just a problem for older listeners. “Some of the podcasts geared for kids weren’t very good and more importantly, not age appropriate,” said Tristan. “It was starting to dampen Maya’s interest so I began curating a list of some of the best of the best.” With a background in digital production, Tristan set about creating a website that would act as a portal for awesome kids’ podcasts. The initial intent was to make it easy for Maya to quickly find great things to listen to but Tristan soon realized many others could benefit from a curated kids’ podcast catalog. The website recently went live and continues to grow. The list of handpicked podcasts now features more than 200 titles. “One of our favourites is Earth Ranger Emma,” said Tristan. “I love that Maya sees women portrayed in science and it’s incredibly well done!” Earth Rangers The Big Melt is also on the list.

Sound Carrot is built for parents and kids but teachers are also included. Podcast creators are also encouraged to reach out and connect. With so much to choose from, what would make a podcast stand out for this discerning team? They have to pass the “dad test” and Maya has to give them the thumbs up. “We look for a spark,” Tristan explained. “Great storytelling doesn’t need to have slick production values,” Tristan insists. “We’ve found a wide variety of styles and a ton of material created by kids themselves.” This passionate podcaster also feels there’s something unique about listening to a show together as a family. “You can interact with the story and talk to each other about what you’re hearing. It’s also great for toothbrush time.” What about the name Sound Carrot? “Maya came up with it.” Tristan said. “It just sort of worked!”

Find more about Sound Carrot by visiting the website: Sound Carrot: The best kids podcasts You can also find loads of great podcasts for youth here: Home – Gen-Z Media (gzmshows.com)

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Is there a career in that?

Karen Horsman — Sun, 21 Aug 2022 16:12:00 +0000

I heard the familiar sound of soft footsteps coming down the stairs. I smiled knowing it was my eight-year old son looking to spend a little quiet time with his mom. It was way past his bedtime, but my instinct told me this was a stage he was going through and needed a little extra cuddling.

He always looked a bit sheepish as he asked if he could sit and watch sports with me for a while. My answer was usually, “20 minutes and then back to bed.” It was during Monday night football; he saw a public service announcement appealing for donations to build more wells in Africa. He turned to me and said, “Those kids don’t have clean water to drink? That doesn’t seem right.” He then asked a few rapid fire questions. In the moment, I did my best to explain global environmental challenges in an age appropriate way. He looked thoughtful, and we went back to watching the game. I didn’t realize it at the time but, a small seed was planted that night that grew into a keen interest in environmental issues.

As I watched my son’s passion grow over the years, I wish I knew at the time about the myriad of rewarding careers in the environmental sector. When I saw him gravitate towards climate change and social justice issues, I thought of professions such as a policy advisor, politician or working with a non-governmental organization (NGO). These are wonderful fields, of course, but there are SO many other options that exist. There are degrees in water conservation technology, environmental health, hydrology and conservation science. There’s also drinking water treatment operators, hazardous waste inspectors, sustainability analysts, field epidemiologists, public health officers and the list goes on!

For my son it was clean water, but for many kids, it’s the love of animals that ignites their curiosity and engagement. More often than not, the suggestion for a career working with animals is a veterinarian but again, there is a long list of other exciting options as well. For example, there’s conservation biologists, wildlife rehabilitators, animal nutritionists, animal-assisted therapists, animal researcher and more!

So how do you connect the dots between a child’s passion and possible career options? You can point them in the direction of interesting stories like Leah Pengelly. She’s a biology master’s student conducting research for the University of Manitoba on the impact of noise from shipping traffic on Narwhals in the North. She filmed a behind the scenes video just for Earth Rangers!

Another encouraging development is the growing emphasis on connecting careers with science curricula in elementary schools. It’s becoming a more common teacher prompt during a science class to ask students, “What kind of job do you think would allow you to work with plants, animals, climate change etc?”

When it comes to our kids, it’s always important to remind ourselves, it’s their choice about what interests them. The goal is to find ways to tap into a child’s passion without pressure. My son grew into a teenager that became focused on a lot of other things! His connection to the environment fell lower on his priority list but landing on a career path can be a long and twisty road. He did graduate as an engineer this year. His first job is working on electric cars.

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It’s not Magic, it’s the Great Outdoors

Karen Horsman — Wed, 27 Jul 2022 18:15:46 +0000

I’ve got to come clean. I have a pretty strong bias when it comes to the benefits of spending time outside. If truth be told, it’s always been that way. When I filled out my career questionnaire as a teenager, it came back with a very clear direction for my future. According to the test results, I was destined to be a forest ranger. I was a bit surprised since my heart was set on journalism but there’s a good chance I skewed the results with my love of building forts and my aversion to meetings.

We’ve been hearing a lot about the benefits of connecting with nature these last couple of years. There have been countless news reports suggesting stepping away from our computers and getting some fresh air helps with our mental health. A massive review by Pediatrics found this is also true for children. And just in case anyone wasn’t quite sure, the researchers looked at a whopping 269 studies that all came to a similar conclusion:

Access to greenspaces, nature and parks helped improve children’s overall wellbeing. The review found that in an ideal world, these spaces would be near a child’s home or school.

Earth Rangers on our Mission, Nature Scavenger Hunt

Researchers also suggested that not all outdoor time is equal. They concluded connecting with nature in a meaningful way was more beneficial than simply running around a parking lot. This is where that pretty strong bias I mentioned earlier comes in. I believe any kind of outdoor time is extremely valuable. Getting a lung full of fresh air and feeling the sun on their face can do a child a world of good. The emphasis on a meaningful connection with nature makes sense, but a more holistic approach could be another way of helping kids feel the benefits of connecting with the outdoors. Let’s look at a range of options:

Modeling: Let the kids know you personally love being outside or at least that you’re trying to get out more. Whether it’s for a mini-break on the balcony or a bike ride, share how it makes you feel to be outdoors. If you have a few stories from your childhood about things like capture the flag or fort building you can share, all the better. Kids LOVE hearing about when their parents were young!
Get out there: You may have to hop in the car or take the bus for this one, but hit a hiking trail nearby and focus on the sights, sounds and smells all around you. It’s amazing how often we forget just to listen or take a big breath. Talk to the kids about what you’re experiencing as you explore nature.
Write or draw: Want to take it up a notch? No need to go far. Why not get the kids to write something about what they see outside or take the crayons to the park to draw a picture? Sidewalk chalk can also be a ton of fun.
No pressure air time: Just open the front door and walk outside. Take a breath, hang out on the driveway or sidewalk. Throw a ball around or open a lawn chair. You simply can’t go wrong!

It’s immensely encouraging to read so many stories talking about the benefits of nature for children’s mental health. There’s value in big and small connections with the outdoors.

As it turns out, I didn’t end up becoming a forest ranger after all. I’ve spent many years tapping away on a computer instead but I spend every spare moment I have in the great outdoors. Nature trails and exploring are a fundamental part of my parenting and so is the driveway lawn chair.

The post It’s not Magic, it’s the Great Outdoors first appeared on Earth Rangers.

Motivating your child without the gold star

Karen Horsman — Wed, 27 Jul 2022 15:56:24 +0000

There was no way Sebastian was getting on his bike. The six-year old camper had literally dug his heels into the dirt and was shaking his head frantically from side to side. He had decided bike riding was not a fun thing to learn. He went from defiant to sobbing in the blink of an eye. His motivation to try something new had dissolved and his mind had been made up – this was not happening.

As I dropped off my teenager for her summer camp job, I witnessed Sebastian’s struggle firsthand. Introducing a new skill to a child can be exhilarating or exasperating – often it’s a mix of both. Parents often find themselves in the instructor role as they navigate through the many stages of childhood development. So what to do when a child shows little interest in trying something new?

A common technique is a reward system. Motivating children with external validation has always been a popular go-to for parents and instructors – think sticker charts and popcorn parties. There’s a good reason for this – it works! From potty training to completing homework, rewards and praise can be effective ways to get children to focus and stay committed to a task.

But experts like Alfie Kohn feel parents are going too far. He argues there’s a risk we’re raising a generation of praise junkies. Other experts have chimed in saying the goal should be to encourage children to tap into their intrinsic desire to try something new because that’s how learning works. It’s faster to offer children praise and rewards but nurturing an interest to simply “give it a go and see what happens” is said to be more beneficial in the long run.

There’s no doubt, when kids feel successful and capable, they want to do more. The challenge is to get them to start in the first place and push through when the going gets tough. So what if you’re looking to skip the sticker chart and reign in the praise? Here are four suggestions by Richard Lovie, the author of the Motivation Breakthrough:

Show Encouragement: There’s nothing like a “you got this” to start the ball rolling. The child may profoundly disagree but setting a confident tone can do wonders. You may want to make it clear “we’re all going to try this bike riding thing” but adding “I can see you taking off like a superhero” could inject a little fun.
Display Interest: Asking a few simple questions can make the child feel heard. “What do you think makes the wheels go round and round?” or “What are some ways you like to go fast?” can get a conversation started.
Offer Gratitude: It may not be intuitive to say thank you in these situations but after they make a small attempt like sitting on their bike for example, you can say “Thanks so much for making that effort. It made me feel like I’m helping you learn.”
Express Enthusiasm: This one comes naturally to a lot of us. “Nice job!” is easy but getting more specific like “I loved the way you gave this a shot. It’s so thrilling to see you try something new.”

Offering to go for ice cream after a big victory is always on the table. It’s just keeping in mind how often we’re relying on the quick and fun rewards. Building a sense of confidence and ability is a long, slow build but there is huge pay-off in the end. Bike riding for example, is one of the best ways to stay active and enjoy being outdoors. Sebastian has a future full of exploring ahead of him. After a few sniffles, he managed to regroup and pictured himself soaring through the sky with his imaginary cape flowing behind him. He wobbled through the obstacle course with a smile a mile wide and promptly declared, “I did it, all by myself!”.

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They’re always watching – the power of modelling.

Karen Horsman — Wed, 27 Jul 2022 15:47:48 +0000

I’ve got to come clean. When I received the news I was losing my job, I sort of freaked out. It wasn’t a huge, messy scene but I would have liked time to regain my composure. The email about funding cuts came in while I was tapping away on my computer in my remote work station known as the dining room table. There was no time to process the news on the commute home before I walked in the door to greet my family. My daughter was upstairs doing homework when she heard my cry of alarm.

I’ve had enough lessons over the years raising three children to know how closely kids watch a parent’s reaction to pretty well everything. They may look distracted when you’re fuming in a long line-up or processing some difficult news, but chances are, they’re tucking away that memory in a long list of daily observations.

Now, you’d be excused if that sounds like a lot of pressure. It’s hard to be scrutinized on most days, never mind when you’re not having your best moment. And of course, as parents, we want to raise happy and emotionally healthy children. Many of us would rather our kids see us with our act together and keep the vulnerability behind closed doors. Problem is, it’s not always a realistic plan.

The good news here is this works both ways! Our children are also watching when we recycle, ask questions about climate change, volunteer our time or share a kind word with a neighbour.

Parent research shows modelling is an effective way to influence child behaviour and life choices. For example, it’s believed the majority of students attending post-secondary had at least one parent who also pursued academics after high school. The same goes for eco-friendly habits. If a parent is an avid composter and let’s say, a fan of green energy, it can impact a child’s worldview.

There’s also an opportunity to tap into the power of modelling when things go wrong. So what to do when you’re grappling with an issue in real time with eyes on you?

A quick smile or a hug with “I’m a little rattled at the moment but I’ve got this and I’m working on a few things here. It’s not about you and I’ll be sure to ask for help if I need it.”
If you make a mistake and maybe lose your cool, try a do-over. “Hey, I think I could have handled that better. I’d like to try a “do-over” and see if I can take another shot at this.”
Getting some space can do wonders. It’s not always possible but even saying “I’m going to take a moment to regroup. I’ll be right back,” can be a good place to start.

Parenting is all about practice. Life is full of curveballs and we can’t hide them all from our children. Sharing vulnerability with as much confidence as we can muster goes a long way in teaching our kids it’s okay to thrive and stumble. Whether you suggest cleaning up the local park as a family or asking for a quick “do-over” when you make a parent misstep, both are opportunities to model an authentic effort at trying our best.

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